Fulfilling out divine purpose is as straightforward as choosing love. But it’s an ONGOING choice. May we tune in to love and continually choose to let it displace our fear.… More
Wipe the slate clean … and go for consummate love!
For the best relationship ever, start with a clean slate. Wipe away the black marks and start fresh, aiming, once again, for consummate love. Only this time, do it with consummate love in clear view. Know what you’re going for, and you have a better shot at it.
According to Robert J. Sternberg, a psychologist and psychometrician of Cornell University, perfect love is a high level of intimacy, passion, and commitment.
• Intimacy: Psychological knowledge shared, and connection based on that knowledge
• Passion: Erotic attraction
• Commitment: The decision that a person loves another person and the commitment to maintain that love
It’s difficult to experience a high level of any one of the three if you focus on how you’ve been wronged or short-changed; and each one works to strengthen or weaken the others (see diagram). Wiping the slate clean, on the other hand, allows you to immediately enjoy what you have and develop more of it.
I realize that a clean slate isn’t exactly something you can order online or have somebody else deliver; but relationships are about giving what you have. So give YOURSELF a clean slate. When you wipe yours clean, you wipe his clean, too!… More
Where are you looking?
I hope you have found paradise this summer. I hope you have found the place where everything is okay. It is within you.
And when you find it, your external world reflects its peace and beauty. It is perfect — not because it is ideal by anybody else’s standards, but because it is ideal by yours. It is ideal by yours because you see it through knowing eyes, and because you trust that you are getting exactly what you need. And because you are open to getting what you need from what’s there, you do.
It is like being on a vacation perfectly planned by your psychotherapist, your mentor, and your personal trainer. You trust them to serve your highest good. You are able to feel the sweetness in tears; you sit with your feelings beside the water. You are able to see the growth in sore muscles; you relax into a full-body massage in the garden. You are refreshed.
Your spirit sings. Your lips invite kisses. Your heart and your mind are open. You are present to delight in what is, without worrying about what is not.
If you haven’t found your paradise this summer, you can. It’s not going anywhere!… More
Trust what you truly want …
Our innate longing is to align with the love written on our heart. We can trust that truth. And we can trust love. Let’s free our self of everything else.… More
Coming clean to feel the love you want …
We want to be loved down to the core, by somebody who knows every chink in our armor; but it may not occur to us that we must REMOVE the armor! We must face our wounded nakedness before we can actually share it, to feel thoroughly known and loved. We must also tend the wounds, beneath those chinks, in order to heal them. If we conceal anything at all, we don’t feel unconditionally loved. Many assume that you can’t tell a partner everything; but unless you do, you undermine love. What you have (or seem to have) is a facade; because intimacy, a connection based on what you know, is the foundation for authentic love. The more naked the knowledge, the deeper the connection, the roots, the foundation.
We are accustom to the armor, though. When we realized we were separate from Mother, and that she wouldn’t always be there, we learned to survive independent of her. That meant latching on to what was within our reach and, unfortunately, we embraced some false beliefs and self-destructive habits. We still abide by coping mechanisms that kept us alive and presumably sane, but no longer serve us. We defend our beliefs and our behavior, plugging holes in our armor, with distorted-as-necessary evidence.… More
I am you … and I love you
… More
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