About 25 years ago, I dated a psychiatrist. He commented that our issues clashed. I didn’t know, then, exactly what our issues were; and I didn’t stick it out long enough to identify them. I know now; and I think we missed an opportunity to heal the wounds behind the issues.
If you clash with somebody, seize the opportunity. Look at why. Don’t write it off as personality, or “he’s a jerk,” or “she’s needy.” See what it can teach you about you and a wound that still gets triggered.
Learn what the clashing has to teach you … and you’ll be just a little bit closer to the naked you, and the love of your life. … More
But falling down is allowed! It’s part of growing, part of learning. Trying to avoid it keeps us stuck! Taking the falls gets us there.… More
You might look at celebrities and long-distance partners and wonder how they do it, but maybe you could just as viably wonder how you do it. That is, if you were objective.
If you were a therapist on the wall in your kitchen, living room and bedroom, what in the world would you be thinking?
You’ve seen the ongoing analysis of famous couples walking down the sidewalk. How he holds her hand, how she holds her purse, everything means something. And nobody’s in a better position than you are to know what your behavior means.
How often do you actually walk down the sidewalk together? How often are you in the same room together? How often do you look into each other’s eyes? Touch each other? Compliment each other? Nag each other?
If your initial observations (as an objective party on the wall) raise concern, start making changes — simple changes that seem like no-brainers from a distance.
Schedule dinner at the same time every night. It doesn’t matter how often you actually eat at 7, what matters is that you have a date — to keep or reschedule!… More