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Jan Denise, author, speaker, relationships & self-worth consultant

in Uncategorized

How do we feel real?

Life has never felt so real to me. I don’t know how much sense that can make to somebody else, but it makes sense to me; because love is the only thing that’s real. And so much of what I based my life on over the years was less than loving. I don’t mean to imply that I was a “bad” person. I was more goodie-two-shoes than bad; but goodie-two-shoes was closer to self-righteous than I realized. And I worked hard for picture-perfect, the house with pretty wallpaper, the muscled boyfriend, the red Mercedes. Nothing was enough.

There isn’t enough of anything else to fill our need for love. I realized this 30 years ago, before I wrote the little book “The Person I Don’t Have Time to Be … Is the Person I Am.” Although I wore designer clothes and had them tailored to fit, I didn’t feel like that person. Well, maybe I did … how was I to know that people who looked like they had it all together could feel like scared little girls!? It was like that cliche, “If the club will accept me, how good can it be?”

Lately, though, it dawns on me that everything in my life seems real … and it’s not because THINGS are better or worse. I am more present, more fearless, and more motivated by what matters, instead of what doesn’t. So, life is more loving. And that is enough to make it more real!

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