About

Jan Denise, author, speaker, relationships & self-worth consultant

Jan Denise

JAN DENISE is the author of Innately Good: Dispelling the Myth that You’re Not (Health Communications). She is also known for her previous book, Naked Relationships: Sharing Your Authentic Self to Find the Partner of Your Dreams (Hampton Roads), which examined the science of human relationships.

Denise penned the popular syndicated newspaper column “Naked Relationships” for 10 years, which was distributed throughout the US and Canada by Creators Syndicate. In it, she tackled topics ranging from sex, dating, and love, to self-esteem and personal empowerment, to emotional eating and body image. The underlying message each week was that all of your relationships reflect your relationship with self. She teaches people to know, love, and align with their authentic self. She has also written regular monthly columns for a seniors’ publication and a lifestyle magazine.

Denise is a sought-after public speaker who has conducted relationship workshops, and taught professional and personal empowerment seminars across the country for business, charity, and wellness groups. She teaches workshops in such venues as New York’s Omega Institute and Unity churches nationwide. She also consults with individuals and couples in her private practice. She has served on panels and boards, been awed by fans at book-signings, and drawn international retreaters.

A media veteran, Denise has been interviewed frequently on radio, including NPR, and television, and has been quoted and featured widely in newspapers and magazines across the US. She delivers scholarly substance with good humor from a heart that’s been there.

Denise lives the reality of her own teachings with her husband in Anthony, Florida. Prior to marrying in 2006, she served as a human resources administrator, a sales manager for a communications corporation, a business owner, and a single writer living on the beach. She thought she could be happy without a partner. She was! But she finds that to practice familiar lessons in a committed relationship is to get them on a deeper level and know deeper joy. It is the fairytale she always believed in, only better. She is now ready, with the whole-hearted support of her husband, to do what everything to date has prepared her for.

You can email Jan at JanDenise@JanDenise.com.

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Opposites attract, complement, don’t complete …

“Relationships don’t work when people get hooked up with opposites, instead of partners with similar traits who like what they like,” says one reader.

Not bad … but it’s not quite that simple.

“Similar” is most apt to work after two people have accepted who they are, and are no longer trying to get somebody else to give them what they “lack.” Opposites sometimes attract each other to compensate for what they think they’re missing.

If, for example, you long to be comfortable socializing, you might be attracted to somebody who’s outgoing and well connected in the community. And although, as an introvert, you could be intrigued by a socialite for a while, novelty is generally short lived. While an extrovert is fueled by the crowd, an introvert is drained by it — even when enjoying it — and might want more space to catch his (or her) breath than he can find with an extrovert.

This is a perfect example of how two people can get enthralled with each other — briefly. Infatuation rarely survives for more than a year.

On the other hand, if you’ve learned that you can mingle with a crowd of strangers, and still prefer to spend your time with intimate friends, you just might accept yourself as-is.… More

Dear Friends …

You’re probably familiar with the cliche, “People will remember how you made them feel, long after they forget what you said. I’ve found that to be true.

And here’s what I’m thinking this morning … I will remember how I felt today long after I forget what I did today.

Let’s choose to feel the way we want most to feel. Let’s think what we can think in good conscience. Let’s do what we can do whole-heartedly. Let’s spend our time on what’s worth revisiting at the end of the day.

Let’s do, right now, the one thing that we want most to do today. Let’s focus on our first priority this week, this month, this year.

Let’s NOT get distracted by what’s happening all around us. Let’s not merely react to what other people are doing.

It’s a brave new year. I want to hold on to the reins of my life–not with my head, but with my heart; not in the spirit of control, but in the spirit of love.

And if I can do that, I will FEEL engaged, satisfied, fully alive, happy, and free. I will feel like ME. And that means feeling at peace.

Let’s feel what we want to feel!… More