“I hate to give up on our relationship, but to stay feels like giving up on my dreams,” writes a reader.

To walk away from what we hoped — and promised — would last forever is one of the most heart-wrenching breaks we can make. It feels as though we’re cutting off a piece of ourselves … and we struggle desperately to decide if it’s right and if it’s necessary.

How do we know?

Ask yourself: What would I do if I weren’t afraid? Will I be better off next week, next month and next year if I stay?

Don’t kid yourself. You don’t really want to feed your fear. And if staying doesn’t serve you, it doesn’t serve your partner either. It’s arrogant to think that a partner needs your pity. He needs love; he doesn’t have to get it from you.

Don’t give up on yourself and don’t give up on your partner, either. If you’re both better off without each other, then give up on the relationship and save yourselves.

Your dreams are a reflection of who you are, or at least they should be. If they’re obsolete, change them. Base them on what you want — not on what somebody else wants for you or what society expects.… More

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In relationships, God knows that if you don’t do what you need to do to catch the fish, you won’t be able to do what you need to do to live happily with the fish.… More