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Jan Denise, author, speaker, relationships & self-worth consultant

Loving life …

… More

Freedom to fly …

When you know you can fall without guilt or shame, you’re free to fly.… More

Be the fearless hero, the fearless writer …

Be the fearless hero, the fearless writer …

… More

You are the light …

You are the light …

No matter how dark, the sun is still there; and it will always show its face again. And we, too, are the sun. We are, through it all, brave and strong and resilient. And the rainbow is a promise.… More

Dear Friends … Does it FEEL Good?

Why are we concerned about how it LOOKS, even when it FEELS good? We’re programmed to be sensitive to rejection, and that can mean worrying about what other people think.

We’re no longer running from lions and tigers and bears! We no longer need the protection of a tribe. And while society may be consumed with winning approval, we don’t have to be. We can know the peace of being true to our self, as well as the absolute joy of what feels good to our spirit.

It’s easy to get consumed with more of what’s promoted to bring us satisfaction. When we do, we keep moving the finish line, thinking that one more raise, or degree, or toy is going to make us feel worthy, like something we’re afraid we’re not. And we also live in stress that accumulates into misery and chronic pain.

All we really need is love. That, my dear friends, is the truth we sometimes forget when lured by a false sense of security. And, yes, we can forget even after we think we have it all figured out.

Let’s not get stuck on a treadmill … or keep returning to one. Let’s soar above the distractions and know the glory of love, within and without.… More

When is it worth it to delay gratification?

When is it worth it to delay gratification?

It’s interesting to sit in the middle and get mail from both sides of the proverbial aisle about immediate versus delayed gratification.

“He has a drink and he can’t contain himself. …All of a sudden, having sex is no more than eating another potato chip,” writes one reader.

“She has no idea how to just relax and enjoy the moment. …I don’t know what she’s saving herself for,” writes another reader.

When is it in your best interest to let go and trust the moment? And when are you better served by “good things are worth waiting for”?

According to Daniel Goleman, author of “Emotional Intelligence,” those with high emotional intelligence have the ability to understand and control emotional responses. They can manage their feelings and curtail inappropriate expression of their impulses.

Now, all you have to do is figure out what’s inappropriate — like the 4-year-olds in Goleman’s “marshmallow test,” which he says demonstrates the power of emotional intelligence. Each of the preschoolers was left in a room with a marshmallow — they could eat it immediately, or wait for somebody to return from an errand and then be treated to two marshmallows.

As a 4-year-old, how long would you have waited to upgrade your treat from one marshmallow to two?… More

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Learning to Love Yourself

Jan's program for the quest of a lifetime.

DISCOVER:
~ What love really is
~ Who you are, apart from the facade
~ What it actually looks like to love you
~ How it feels to exercise the freedom to be youClick to Read More

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