Let’s beware the difference between discernment and judgment. I can discern that somebody is behaving in an unloving way. And when I do, I can love them anyway, but back away, rather than subject myself to their energy.
But if I feel negative emotion in me–not just in them–then I’m judging them. I do NOT feel negative emotion when I simply make an observation. I DO feel negative emotion if I personalize somebody else’s anger, opinion, or hatred. Then, I want to point out what’s wrong with them! If I truly know who I am, I also know it’s okay if they don’t.
It’s easy to accept others unconditionally when they’re humble and unassuming, when they’re gracious and loving. But THEY don’t help me gauge the purity of my “love.” Authentic love IS pure. And we know we have it, when we don’t struggle to love those who condemn us from a self-righteous sideline.
But it doesn’t serve anybody for me to pretend that somebody’s behavior is respectful or right. And it doesn’t serve anybody for me to join their hypocrisy. Love is honest and forthright. And we can choose not to be manipulated by somebody else’s perspective. Not everybody is ready to see the truth. Don’t let that keep you from seeing it.
And don’t dismay. As long as you have an awareness of the struggle, you can be honest with yourself about where you are and grow into your authentic self, authentic love.
I am, you are, forever a student of love,