When we love somebody, we get to know them, we understand their secrets, and we hold their wounds sacred. We also give them a safe place to grow beyond the secrets, and to heal the wounds.
If we have loved ourselves this way, we will know how to love somebody else this way; and we will know how to let somebody else love us this way.
This way is the only way to love somebody; but we try other ways. We struggle to find this one. And we continually learn to do it better.