When we trigger somebody’s I’m-not-good-enough wound, they may attack us. We don’t have to attack back. Love doesn’t feel threatened; and we don’t have to feel threatened, either. We can be an example of love, and coming to peace and community even in the face of the inevitable chaos created by somebody else’s fear-based defensiveness. That said, sometimes being an example of love means detaching yourself from abuse, while learning what you can from the experience.

Let’s say your partner learned to be stoic (rather than express his emotions) in order to win his father’s acceptance. It was a matter of survival! Even years later, simply asking your partner what he’s feeling may trigger his wound enough for him to attack you. If you understand that, you can respond lovingly, rather than hit back. But if your loving response meets with repeated abuse, you don’t have to hang around for it. You can trust love to teach him how to shed his security blanket and heal his wounds, when he’s ready. You can be part of that process, without sticking around for it to play out.

We’re all in Love School. And shedding the defensive armor to heal our wounds is the work of a lifetime.… More

It doesn’t matter if we’ve “failed” one time or one thousand times, it’s never, ever, ever too late to start again! And it’s not about the result; it’s about learning that it’s not! It’s about being true to yourself, regardless of the results!

Life is “rigged” for us to “win.” And winning is simply aligning with our true self, with our essence of love, the law written on our hearts. When we do that, nothing else matters; but everything else is there!… More

Dear Friends,

It occurs to me that no matter how “evolved” we get, we may retain enough wound to be triggered. And when it is triggered, we must show ourselves compassion, just as we would show it to others.

For all of my life, I have been grateful for good health; while aware that on occasion, I needed to be reminded of how physical pain felt. In other words, I needed a dose of empathy. In the same way, sometimes we need a dose of compassion–not just for ourselves, but for others. We cannot give them, what we do not give ourselves.

So, when I get sick OR fall on my face, I can be thankful … not because I need a reminder, but because as long as I do, I will get one.

Life is way cool. It teaches us to love well. And that is as good as it gets.

May I just say I love you. I mean it with all of my heart.

Jan… More