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Jan Denise, author, speaker, relationships & self-worth consultant

in Uncategorized

Being more of who we are …

Once we realize that we’re clinging to a security blanket, we may want to loosen our grip and make room for something that can do more than pacify us. Because the security blanket is a substitute for the attunement we lost when we realized our separateness from “Mother.” It’s what we could latch on to as we faced fear and the pain of rejection.

What we really want is for somebody to tune into us–every sigh, and giggle, and cry. We want somebody to see us, and know us, and love us for who we are. We can’t go back and get that from “Mother” again, but we can give it to ourselves. And we can give ourselves permission to be ALL of who we are!

OR we can hold on to the blanket–compliant, smart, pretty, nurturing, stoic, or escape (food, drugs, busyness, adventure, even pain)! I’m loosening my grip on order. That was my blanket; and I stretched it into a suit of armor, reinforcing it for decades. I’m making room for the rest of me. Maybe I’ll have the chaos of success, more spontaneity, and some free falls.

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