Love has no agenda …

Dear Friends … Trauma Equals a Lesson

Relationships are always two-sided. And when somebody’s behavior causes me angst, I have something to learn from it.

I’m still reminded of this, but here’s what I know. When I have nothing to learn from an encounter, it’s not stressful. I’m an unruffled observer. It’s only when there’s a lesson in it for me that I feel anger, or judgment, or blame.

If we have no lesson to learn from the trauma, then we don’t experience it as trauma.

We are not at the mercy of anybody else. We always get to choose how we respond. And when we respond from love, we experience no fear, no threat, no drama. That’s telling. It’s also empowering.

We don’t have to bemoan our lessons. They’re not intended to punish us. They’re intended to prepare us for precisely what we want. And when we courageously face the truth and the lesson, that’s what we get. Exactly what we want!

Love smiles,… More

in Uncategorized

Live fearlessly …

… More

in Uncategorized

Let the sacred guide you …

Feeling what we cannot see helps us to keep what we can see in perspective. It helps us to see through eyes of love, and respond in love. And when we respond in love, we are at peace.… More

in Uncategorized

May we find peace and joy in the learning …

… More

in Uncategorized

Do you love to talk?

Some of us love to talk, or give directives. And when we’ve done what we love to do, we leave the ball in our partner’s court!

As a very young woman, I played the talking part in my first marriage. Sex was an ultra-sensitive issue for me back then, and once I had spilled my heart, I thought I’d done enough, and I waited for something to change. I spilled my heart and my tears periodically until we divorced, without ever really being part of a solution.

We cannot merely talk about what’s wrong and then blame our partner for not doing something about it. For our relationships to change, we have to be willing to demonstrate our talk with action.

Maybe you want your boyfriend to take you out to dinner once a week; maybe you want your wife to initiate sex. Resolving an issue in a relationship dictates that both partners participate. If you don’t think you should have to participate, ask yourself if you truly want to resolve the issue. Sometimes we just want to spout off and have somebody to blame for our dilemma or our lousy relationship.

If you want your boyfriend to take you to dinner, help him pay for it, pack the picnic or make the reservation.… More