Uncategorized – Page 884

You’re in charge …

Nobody else is responsible for making us feel well loved. In fact, they can’t–no matter how much they want to, or how much we want them to.

We won’t feel well loved until we decide that we’re lovable. And to do that we must simply get to know who we are.

To truly know you is to truly love you. … More

Entertain Each Other First …

We have more entertainment at our fingertips than ever, but are we any less apt to be bored in our relationships?

Most of us carry our own personal entertainment screen around with us — our favorite people, music, reading material, and games. If somebody keeps us waiting, or just bores us, we can escape. Among other things, this promotes zero tolerance for boredom. Ironically it also promotes boredom … because our needs for stimulation are not really met by the little screen. And our needs for intimacy and companionship may be getting buried altogether.

So if you’re bored in your relationship, don’t blame your partner; and don’t jump to the conclusion that you are boring. You’re not boring; you’re merely absent. To know how entertaining you are, you have to show up.

Do it before you grow more complacent or distant from each other. When there’s a moment of silence, choose to be present with your sweetheart — instead of moving on. When there’s a moment of tension, explore and understand what you’re feeling — instead of escaping to a screen, ice cream, or whatever else you keep on hand.

With the upcoming holidays, you want to be warm and inviting as a couple.… More

Gratitude Grows More of What You Want

Your partner doesn’t always give you what you want. I bet there are even moments when he (or she) seems incapable of it, right? And if you dwell on those moments, you’ll feel like he’s never going to satisfy you.

There are other moments, though, when he sees deep inside you and understands, or surprises you with the perfect words or gift. There are moments when you actually see him — sense his vulnerability and the effort he’s putting forth — and love him, without demanding more or different to meet your needs. Let those moments be etched in your heart.

Dwelling on what’s positive (in any relationship) can mean the difference between miserable and grateful. It can also mean nurturing what you want instead of what you don’t.

He wants to please you, but when you feel like he always screws up, he senses that and gets discouraged or angry. Oh, he might try harder for a while; but eventually, it’ll seem like a lost cause. He’ll either feel as though he’s a loser, or find somebody who appreciates him.

If you want to keep him around, offer him some hope of satisfaction in your relationship by acknowledging what’s working.… More