This is one of my favorite questions. I have used it for decades to help me find my way. But we don’t have to be trying to make a decision, to benefit from the question.
Whether we are deliberating or not, if we feel stuck, it’s because we are afraid. Maybe you struggle to exercise, to date, or to meditate. You might ask yourself: How, where, when would I exercise if I were free from fear? Or you may ask: Who would I date if I knew I was enough? The way forward is always there. Only fear can keep us from seeing it. And the mother of all our fears is the same. We are afraid that we lack something, the very thing that would make us good enough. And that fear gives birth to ALL of our fears.
I’m frugal. There, I said it out loud. And I just asked myself the question: What would you spend money on if you weren’t afraid? When I answer that question, I learn what I need to spend money on, in order to stretch my comfort zone. I also learn what I can do with passion, besides work (only half joking).
In my case, I wrestle with spending money, without something tangible to show for it. For example, I can be very indecisive in planning a vacation. And consequently, I haven’t taken many vacations. I am afraid of being irresponsible with money. Why? Because I grew up, thinking that to be “frivolous” with money, was to neglect sharing my resources with those who needed them. I grew up believing that only “bad” people did that. In other words if I were to “waste” money, that would prove my worst fear, of not being good enough.
But I am good enough. You are good enough.
There is nothing we can do, nothing we can endure, to change our innate goodness. Our only job is to align with that goodness. And without fear, we tune in to that goodness. We tune in to the truth written on our hearts. We tune in to our passion. We identify beliefs that we want to let go of, and find a path to alignment.
I just booked a room in Crystal River. And I’m going to swim with the manatee. About 35 years ago, I opted for a Florida license plate that said “Save the Manatee.” I had to pay for it, but it was tangible. Smile. Finally, I will swim in the wild with these huge and gentle creatures. And while my memories will not be tangible, I will feel my experience. And some of the results may even be tangible.
If you feel stuck in a particular area, get specific and customize the question: What would you do if you weren’t afraid? You’ll discover what you can do with passion to stretch your comfort zone, with one step, and then another.
Love smiles,