We make it harder than it has to be, though. We go to a lecture or a park or a bar to meet somebody. We look around and dismiss the options or wait for them to fall at our feet. They don’t. And we go home!
We pass up opportunities and then lament the lack thereof. We justify passing with: He’s not really my type. She would never go for me…I really need a different car. It’s too hot out here. I’ve got work to do. Who am I trying to kid?
We lack initiative because we lack faith. If you believed she would go for you, you would, with natural warmth and charm, sprint over and introduce yourself.
If this resonates, look at why she wouldn’t go for you. Then, do something about it. Be the person you might be attracted to if you were in her place. Don’t get a new car for her, but if you want a new car, get one. Don’t lose 10 pounds for him, but if you’re feeling dejected, lose the 10 pounds for you.
When you’ve done that, revisit the lecture hall or the park or the bar (not my first or second choice)…or just go to the grocery store! Go wherever you have to go to show yourself love — the farmer’s market, the gym, the woods, the museum — and enjoy what’s there. Present yourself alive and happy! And don’t be surprised if somebody falls at your feet. Ah, but if they don’t, find joy in taking matters into your own hands.
It goes something like this: Hello, I’m ready…it took me a while, but here I am. Nothing sounds like a line if it’s said with a sincere smile!
You don’t, of course, have to take my word for it. Try it. If it doesn’t work, use me as a scapegoat — and you’ll still have a chance. You’ll even have something to talk about.
So often, people ask me where to go to meet the right one, and how to approach them. They ask me how I met Sam. I met Sam at one of my talks on a Thursday night. Then I got to know him when he attended one of my Saturday retreats. I was doing what I do!
When you do what you love to do — regardless of who’s there to meet — you will meet people with similar interests. And when you’re doing something that comes naturally to you, you’re at ease. You have something to say! You’re even comfortable with silence. You don’t have to worry about putting your head down and “missing out” because you felt awkward.
If you go to church just to meet somebody, you may very well want to get out of there as soon as you are dismissed. If you don’t like to sit outside and you go to a baseball game, you’re not going to be very attractive while you’re there. Yes, hot and sticky can be attractive, but miserable only attracts miserable — that’s not what you’re looking for!
Life is good! You are good! If you’re not convinced, get convinced. And do it before you try to meet somebody.
When you’re ready, you’ll take the initiative. And you’ll attract somebody you can live happily ever after with…or at least enjoy an afternoon with.
You will be one step closer to — and only one step away from — the one!