We can place so much emphasis on an activity that we aren’t really present with our partner.
Why not start a tradition? Take a deep breath and really look at each other, before you begin an activity. Get present. At home, I like to ring Tibetan chimes, because the lingering sound helps me to recenter in love. I also like to kiss, until I lose touch with the distractions.
Everyday busyness tempts us to think about what comes next, what has to be done before lunch or bedtime. Our egos are easily lured by meeting expectations and justifying the times we fell short, which can drop us in the past or the future, rather than the present.
We can only truly live in this moment, though, and only if we’re present for it. And we can only truly live with a sweetheart by truly showing up.
Changing our surroundings can cut some distractions, but we have to do more than that to escape the ongoing chatter of our minds! You know this is true if you’ve ever tried to put a rambling mind to sleep. Simply being conscious of your breath, with the intention of breathing in peace, is the most effective exercise I know of.
It doesn’t matter so much where you are, as it does that you’re really there with your sweetheart — and not reassessing what went wrong or rehearsing for your next business deal. Then you can sigh and smile and talk and snuggle and kiss and say I love you…and feel how good it is to be together.
Instead of admiring impressive architecture and art, you can admire each other. Instead of catching a bigger fish or the latest Broadway play, you can catch each other.
You might spend the would-be entertainment money on exquisite sheets or a hammock for two…and have time to play in them together. And don’t be surprised if your own backyard turns into a natural wonder.
“If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change,” said Buddha.
A flower is the sexual organ of a plant. Imagine how much your relationship would change if you could see the miracle of your partner clearly. To do that, quiet your mind and your ego, open your eyes and your heart…and drink your sweetheart in. And then feel what you can feel. A miracle.
You won’t just reconnect with your partner; you’ll reconnect with your essence, the essence of life, love, God.
Now is the perfect time to “get away,” to be still and know who you are, to be still and know who your partner is. Where do you have the best shot at quieting your mind? And how long will it take you to truly do that?
Go where you need to go, and stay as long as you need to stay.