Jan Denise – Page 912

Five Ways to Raise a “Good Enough” Child

If your child’s learning to win the approval of others doesn’t seem like much of a problem, wait till he grows up and marries someone he thinks he should marry, works in a job she hates because it’s expected of her, gets in debt buying a house or car that makes him seem more successful than he really is, or is on a perpetual diet and hates her body because women are supposed to be thin.

You can stop this negative conditioning! As a parent (when you’re not caught up in your own insecurities), you instinctively know that your child is good enough. Your child, every child, was born with a spark of divinity — or love — within. And it is enough! Here are five ways to reinforce that positive message.

• Be there for him. Let your child have his true feelings — sadness or fear, for example. Show him with your support, reassurance, and presence that it’s okay to have emotions, and that you’ll stay with him through all those feelings, without judging.

• Teach her not to personalize rejection. If someone tells her she’s ugly or too brainy, for example, remind her that someone else’s words aren’t the truth.… More

You want WHAT for Christmas?

Remember when you thought everything in your entire universe would be ideal if he just pledged himself on bended knee? Okay, maybe you never really thought that; but it is a wonderfully romantic sentiment.

And the truth that he wants to be loved simply for himself, apart from what he can do for you or buy you, is absolute. With that caveat, what would you most like for him to give you for Christmas? And what do you want to give him in return?

You both want the same thing! While men and women may have different short-term priorities (men tend to sow their seed widely — it’s a survival thing), ultimately they both want an intimate partner to accept them unconditionally, while knowing all there is to know about them.

You want him to know you and love you down to the core — every little wrinkle and idiosyncrasy — just the way you are. Then, he’s yours for keeps! You don’t have to worry about what he might think or do if he learns that haunting secret. He doesn’t love you in spite of your past; he loves the person you are as a result of it. He’s not about to walk out on you because you gain ten pounds or lose your job.… More

Nobody else has the power to keep us from the fullness of love …

Love is truly enough. But when we doubt that, we let fear in; and fear displaces love. They can’t coexist.

The “problem” is never about somebody else or our situation. Only we the power to displace love in our life.

And that’s very good news.… More

How relaxed are you?

When we learn to relax with a partner, we can feel what we’re feeling, rather than act based on what we think we are supposed to feel.

Relaxing means getting to know ourself well enough to accept and love ourself unconditionally.

We can’t let somebody else do that until we do.… More

You …

It’s okay that you want the best partner you can get. Just remember that everybody else does, too. … More

Now …

There is no better time than now. There is no other time than now. The ONLY time is NOW.

And the only thing to be is love. … More