Remember when you thought everything in your entire universe would be ideal if he just pledged himself on bended knee? Okay, maybe you never really thought that; but it is a wonderfully romantic sentiment.
And the truth that he wants to be loved simply for himself, apart from what he can do for you or buy you, is absolute. With that caveat, what would you most like for him to give you for Christmas? And what do you want to give him in return?
You both want the same thing! While men and women may have different short-term priorities (men tend to sow their seed widely — it’s a survival thing), ultimately they both want an intimate partner to accept them unconditionally, while knowing all there is to know about them.
You want him to know you and love you down to the core — every little wrinkle and idiosyncrasy — just the way you are. Then, he’s yours for keeps! You don’t have to worry about what he might think or do if he learns that haunting secret. He doesn’t love you in spite of your past; he loves the person you are as a result of it. He’s not about to walk out on you because you gain ten pounds or lose your job.
You’re not just looking for faithful, though. You want him to WANT you.
And you want to love him the way you’ve always dreamed of being loved. That’s part of the fairytale! If you don’t accept him the way he is, you come up shy of the happily-ever-after you long for. You don’t really want to be disgusted by his toenails or grit your teeth every time he tracks dirt on the floor or forgets his keys again.
But even now, you might be grumbling under your breath, “She has no idea what I’d have to accept!” You might be right. But acceptance is the most fertile ground for growth (read: change). If you want him to be comfortable enough to get out of his comfort zone, find the courage to accept him the way he is. That’s also your ticket to his accepting YOU the way you are. It’s a two-way street; but somebody has to go first.
So, whether you wanted to give him the perfect gift or stretch your budget, voila! The perfect gift is never one you can buy; it is always one you have to dig deep within yourself to find.
I know … it would be easier to find another gift guide and charge some expert’s latest notion of what he wants. Don’t be duped, though. What he wants more than anything in the whole world is to feel truly known and appreciated for who he is.
Let’s face it, despite our best efforts, we often turn gift giving into what we have the money to buy, rather than what we have the heart to give. Why? Truly knowing your heart is an epic challenge. Even in a depressed economy, you have to work harder to overcome your ego and get to your heart than to buy an expensive gift. Your ego wants to be right, which means proving to him that he’s wrong. And he’s not! To just give up and let him be, acknowledging that his view is just as viable as yours, means shedding the ego. That’s the ticket to giving him what he wants … and getting what you want.
When you get rid of your ego, what’s left is the divine spark of perfection.
There will never be a better time than now to check out what’s in your heart. It transcends what’s in your mind and your budget … and it manifests the relationship of your dreams.