We hide what we fear will be rejected, and present what we hope will win approval. We may create a beautiful facade, but we know that’s what it is. We still long to be known and loved for who we really are.

And when we find the courage to let go of the acceptable, we unveil the sacred.

We were always lovable.… More

When 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, 75 percent of divorcees remarry, 65 percent of their marriages include children from another marriage and 60 percent of those marriages end in divorce, can there be anything traditional left about the “traditional family”?

As my husband and I were introduced to exes, stepparents and stepsiblings at a party, we found ourselves trying to put the puzzle together…and pieces of it were ours.

We’re creating new traditions. We have more working moms and fewer children, but baby sisters and big brothers no longer have to be birthed or adopted. They can be married into.

Some studies show that children from divorced families have more social and emotional problems than those from intact families. But surely children from divorced families who become part of healthy families can have fewer social and emotional problems than children who remain in unhealthy intact families?

We’d do better to make loving — rather than staying together or divorcing — the tradition. And if we make loving the tradition before getting married (the first time), we’re bound to have fewer divorces and stronger families.

We must start where we are, though. For some of us, it is too late to marry for love the first time.… More

The Reward Theory of Attraction says we are most attracted to those who give us maximum rewards at minimum cost to us! And four of the most compelling sources of reward are:

Proximity: Frequent contact predicts closeness.
Similarity: Shared attitudes, interests, values and experiences are rewarding.
Self-disclosure: Intimate sharing builds trust and allows us to know each other.
Physical attractiveness: We find beauty rewarding.

But the Expectancy-Value Theory says we weigh the value of the reward against our expectation of success in a relationship.

My theory, then, is that when we’re ready to manifest our true value, we’ll go for what we really want in a partner, knowing that we’ll be successful. … More