Do you have the BASIS for a relationship?

Five areas of intimacy work together to determine how compatible you are with a partner and what “BASIS” you have for a satisfying relationship:

B-ehavioral

A-ffective

S-piritual

I-ntellectual

S-exual

Behavioral:
Do you like to do the same things? Do you have similar levels of motivation/energy?

Affective (or Emotional):
How much of yourself and your emotions can you put out there, and still feel safe and accepted?

Spiritual:
Do you share similar values and agree on a reason to live by them.

Intellectual:
Can you have intellectually stimulating conversation, about more than one subject?

Sexual:
How connected do you feel sexually–even when you’re not having sex?

Adapted from the work of Michael Murphy, a psychologist at the University of Florida.

Assess Your Intimacy

Ideally, how much does each area contribute to a satisfying relationship for YOU? For your partner? Assign a percentage to each area, so that the sum of the five is 100. And ask your partner to do the same.

Behavioral

Affective

Spiritual

Intellectual

Sexual
__________

100

How much intimacy do you have with your partner? Rate each area on a scale of one to ten (one being low, ten being high). Ask your partner to do the same. Then, compare notes.

Behavioral

Affective

Spiritual

Intellectual

Sexual