Love has no agenda …

Dear Friends,

The spirit of Christmas is here. And for the moment, we are a kinder and gentler people! We want to spread love and good cheer to friends and family, business associates, neighbors, postal workers — they all make the list. Everybody seems a bit more lovable when we feel the spirit of Christmas.

Nobody’s in that last-minute panic mode yet, desperately looking for the perfect gift (or any gift at all, as long as it’s pre-wrapped). The commercialism hasn’t peaked yet. And our calendars still have open spaces. Nothing has tainted the spirit.

I came home today delighted with my shopping finds, still excited about what I have left to buy. I’ve set aside time to wrap my gifts and watch my favorite holiday movies. And, I’ll do my best not to get caught up in the busyness or that drive to buy more, thinking I don’t have quite enough to give.

That’s a familiar sentiment. The season is a lot like life. And the spirit of the season is really the spirit of love … and it outlasts the holiday tinsel and lights. We can choose — every day, all year — to see what’s good in our neighbors.… More

From a reader: It’s almost Christmas, and unless I fall madly in love in the next couple weeks, I’m going to be alone for the holidays. I’m in hot pursuit of mistletoe!

Now and again — usually around the holidays, friends getting married and company parties — we get motivated (mostly by our egos and what people think) to find a sweetheart pronto. No problem. Infatuation only needs a few seconds. And, it tastes like a bite of heaven.

Somebody finds us irresistible and quickly develops an insatiable appetite for us. They are interested in every word we have to say, aware of every little movement we make and want to spend every waking moment with us. Finally, somebody recognizes us in all of our glory!

Well, sort of. What they really see is their own salvation. We all have this innate, albeit mostly unconscious, longing to return to the paradise of the womb, where we are connected to both our mothers and the ultimate source, our needs are seamlessly met, nobody’s picking on us and everybody loves us.

Infatuation seems to make everything OK; it gives us somebody to warm up with in the cold, somebody to call when the plane’s late, and somebody to love us when nobody else does … somebody to love us even when we don’t love ourselves.… More

Tradition comforts us and makes us feel grounded — regardless of what’s caving in around us. It represents caring. Whether it’s pizza on Friday nights or an annual celebration, it reminds us that somebody stands with us. We feel known and appreciated; likewise, when we stand alone, we can feel unseen and taken for granted.

Celebrating a tradition with somebody says “I love you” or “you’re important to me” … with actions, rather than words. My husband Sam and I kiss before dinner every night. It reminds us to take a deep breath and really be with each other. We’ve all seen couples eating at the same table, but not with each other. Traditions remind us to show up!

Granted, YOU can get lost in an elaborate tradition. If you keep it simple, you’re more apt to stay present and satisfy its purpose. Let’s say it’s his birthday: If you eat dinner at your favorite neighborhood restaurant and surprise him with a gift on his pillow, honoring him is the main event. On the other hand, if you make reservations at THE place across town, buy a new dress, that ends up cutting your waistline when you sit down, and more gifts than you have time to wrap, you have less attention to give him.… More

We ARE love. And we manifest the purity and power of that love when we forego what satisfies our ego.

We can’t choose love AND ego.

Once we choose love, we realize that love is more beautiful, rich, sweet, powerful, even sexy than we had hoped to be.

Love is fearless, present, and free. We can be, too. … More

The first thing I did Sunday morning is try on my new PJs. My sister gave them to me after Saturday’s baby shower.

Almost 30 years ago, she hand stitched hearts on a night shirt for me. It was Valentine’s Day, I was out of town working, and I had no Valentine. But I received the soft pink cotton night shirt all wrapped up in pretty by mail.

Thank you, Sandra Thompson, for hand stitching this heart and filling MY heart with memories. … More

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