Love has no agenda …

… More

… More

Before Sam and I got married, God was gracious enough to give me signs that we were intended to be together. I say gracious because I didn’t ask for signs; I didn’t know I needed them! But later, I would be MOST grateful for the signs…and during some pivotal moments, they would be vital to our marriage.

As a single person, I thought I had relationships figured out. I had, after all, written a nationally syndicated column for several years, as well as a book, on relationships! So as a married person, I was tempted to make Sam more responsible than I was for those moments when I wanted to run.

But relationships are always two-sided. I knew that too well to fool myself! We get stuck (maybe in serial running) when we try to assign blame! We get unstuck when we assume responsibility and grow.

Today I am happier than I could have imagined being. And I couldn’t feel this way without those pivotal moments early on, because those are the moments that spurred the most growth. When I felt the most challenged, I had the most to learn. When I felt the most pain, I was–my issues were–the most exposed.… More

You are not defined by what’s in the mirror, or the bank, or somebody else’s judgment. You are defined by what’s within. And if you look closely, you’ll find a divine spark.

It’s enough of whatever you could possibly need or want!

It’s the divinity of love. … More

However severe my “issue” seems, I can find compassion for myself by understanding that it likely stems from my learning to cope with fear and rejection as a child!

Realizing that, I can let go of what I used to cope.

But I need not expect it to be easy. … More

Anytime we have cognitive dissonance*, we open the door for deception, anger, and bitterness. And a lack of harmony and joy in me creates a lack of harmony and joy in my relationship.

I can’t be untrue to myself and have a healthy relationship!

*Cognitive Dissonance: A disparity between my thoughts and and my actions. I’m compelled to bring my thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, ideas, and actions into alignment. Dissonance between them creates stress–in me and my relationship!… More