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Jan Denise, author, speaker, relationships & self-worth consultant

Good morning …

Good morning …

Jogging this morning, I passed a woman walking. She said, “I’m with you in my mind.” Passing her again, “I’m with you in my heart,” I said. She replied, “Amen.” Every interaction is a chance to connect or disconnect. Too often, I choose by default. I can do better. Let’s seize the day! … More

Spend your energy breaking out of the shell, rather than keeping it together.

… More

Dear Friends: When our shell is broken …

When we feel raw and broken, we may want to scream. We may want to hide. We may want to give up. And it’s okay to scream, or hide, or give up. But after you do, take a breath. Step back and look at you. See you naked and sacred, beneath the pretense of going through the motions.

We were never intended to hold a facade together, like scenery for a play. We were always intended to let the inside out. Let’s not try to hide what’s most beautiful about us. Let’s not settle for what somebody else might want to see, or what society thinks we’re supposed to be.

Let’s look at what’s there when our shell is broken. Let’s see what’s sacred, rather than get scared and hide it again. Let’s find the heart and the courage to nurture what’s real. Let’s direct our passion and our energy to being one hundred percent authentic. There is nothing ugly about our essence, when we’re not afraid of it.

Let’s work to break free, rather than keep the shell together.

Love is beautiful, you are.… More

Disenchanted with prospects?

If you’re looking for a partner and keep finding yourself disenchanted, consider raising the bar. It feels good to WOW somebody! But there’s an inherent problem with that. It’s disenchantment.

If he’s stunned by your brilliance, are you going to feel stimulated by his? Is he going to help you reach the next level or encourage complacency? If she’s amazed by your incredible muscle tone, she might not be the rigorous workout partner you’re looking for. If he’s in awe of your pure heart, he’s not apt to discern a weak moment and help you get back on track.

If somebody is too impressed with you, beware of his standards. Consider her ability to keep your attention.

If you want somebody who will inspire you, don’t look for somebody who’s overly impressed.

The immediate gratification of wowing somebody is a high you inevitably come down from. On the other hand, if you can wow yourself, you’ve got something to hold onto. And probably you’ll have the guts to go for somebody who’s impressed with you but wouldn’t settle for less.



Here’s to being the best we can be!… More

You attract what you’re ready for, to help you prepare for what you want.

You attract what you’re ready for, to help you prepare for what you want.

… More

And that means being at peace, being truly happy …

And that means being at peace, being truly happy …

… More

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Learning to Love Yourself

Jan's program for the quest of a lifetime.

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~ Who you are, apart from the facade
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