“How could he … he said he loved me,” she eked out between sobs.

Do you feel more empathy for the guy who changed his mind, or the girl left trying to reconcile the guy’s words with his actions?

Male or female, you’ve probably been smitten and thought you were in love, only to decide it could never work. Our emotions — which we expect to waver — prioritize different thoughts at different times, sometimes dragging our intellects on an emotional roller coaster.

There’s more to it than that, though. There’s what you mean by “I love you,” and what somebody else thinks you mean.

There are eight types of love, according to Robert J. Sternberg, noted psychologist and Professor of Human Development at Cornell University. Only one of them is perfect, but they’re all formed by the following three dimensions of love:

Intimacy: Psychological knowledge of each other and connection based on that knowledge
Passion: Erotic attraction
Commitment: The decision that a person loves another and the commitment to maintain that love

The classic misunderstanding immediately jumps out at us: He gets caught up in erotic attraction and says, “I love you”; she thinks somebody finally understands her and wants to spend the rest of his life with her.… More

Dear Friends,

In any given scenario, we are presented with only two choices: Love and Fear. Seems like that would make it easy enough to choose Love. And it would, if Love and Fear really showed up as an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other.

Love is full of paradox, though. It is both ancient and childlike, invincible and tender, responsible and free.

And we can mask Fear before we’re even consciously aware that it is Fear. With our helping hand, Fear might appear in a mask as innocent as doubt or indifference. We may convince ourselves that Fear is not Fear at all, and “we’re just waiting for the right opportunity” or “choosing realistically.” Other times, we mask Fear with something as ugly as anger; but justify it and call it Love. And, when our survival seems blatantly threatened, we may see Fear for what it is and claim it as the only choice.

How do you react in the face of fear? Do you instinctively fight, run, or freeze? If you act unconsciously, you do one of the three. And 98 percent of all brain activity is completely unconscious.

So, are we unwittingly choosing a life of fear … a life of pain, and lack, and stress, a life destined to fall short of what we want?… More

Do what you truly want to do. No tit for tat or trying to do what you THINK will please somebody else. Do what you would have done anyway, and you can be happy, regardless of the outcome! … More