From a reader: “Recently, I have become reacquainted with an old high school friend. He told me that he and his wife have not had sex for about 10 years — they have been married for 45 — and he has decided to go outside his marriage and have an affair.
I say, ‘No, no, no, that is not the right answer.’ But I do understand his position. She has made it clear she is not interested in sex with him. He is 64 years old, and would like to have a warm, loving relationship with a woman.
His thoughts and ideas have given me pause, since I have also told my husband that I am not interested in having sex with him.
The two situations are different. My friend signed up for love and sex in his marriage contract. My husband, on the other hand, knew when we got married a year ago (both at a youthful 65) that he was signing on for a marriage without sex. I also signed on for a marriage without sex and now realize that that may not have been such a good idea. My husband may be feeling the same way.
I know you are going to say I should open a dialogue with my husband, but it’s very difficult to do.… More