You can’t win both the game and love …
From a reader: “A guy friend says to get a man, I need to dress up when I go about my daily errands.
Nice tight jeans, cleavage-baring shirt and make up, and off to the grocery store! While this makes some sense, it’s not me. I don’t wear makeup (maybe once a year, to a wedding). But, I would like to meet a nice man.
Do I really have to play the dress up game? I don’t think it’s right to present a painted up face when, in fact, I’m not like that on a day-to-day basis, but I’m told men expect it and everybody’s doing it. It’s a game!”
It’s a game all right — and it might even be a way to get a man, but not the man you want.
We all want to be loved down to the core. And that just can’t happen when we are buried beneath layers of “stuff” designed to make us more attractive or more acceptable. Many women and men are afraid to share — or look at, for that matter — who they really are. You’re not. Bravo!
The key to a satisfying relationship is intimacy, which is connection based on knowledge of each other. The more two people honestly reveal of themselves, the more opportunities they have to connect. And the more layers they’re willing to remove, the more deeply they can connect.
You can win a prize of sorts by playing games — and there are experts who teach people to play them — but the prize is only good while you’re playing the game. Reality TV is still TV! Real life inevitably kicks in.
Babies are born, and friends die. You want a partner, a companion, a confidant and a loving parent for your child. You want a real person, not somebody who’s also playing a game. You want to be a real person. You want to wash the makeup off your face!
If you just wanted to see how many dates you could get, then your friend’s advice might be the ticket; but if you want a happy, meaningful relationship, there’s a better way.
Spend quality time with you, make sure you really know yourself. Most people don’t, which means they can’t get the love they really want. Get to know and love all of you, and share it with hope and optimism. You only need one man! He’s out there, waiting to love you just the way you are.
He’s got substance, and he knows it, and doesn’t need a lot of fluff or filler. And he, too, wants somebody to love him for who he is.
Inner wealth has a way of showing up on the outside, though. There’s no harm in wearing makeup as long as you’re doing it to enhance who you are or look as good as you feel. The problem arises when we package ourselves with clothes, a house, a car, a job, a philosophy for life and even a partner as part of an effort to prove our worth and fit in. And as comical as that sounds, well, look around!
You can be you better than you can be anybody else.
Jan's program for the quest of a lifetime.
Are you ready to live your destiny?