This is my first share since my last newsletter. My doctor, my baby, ordered me to stay in bed. It had something to do with my screams and cries in the middle of the night, my begging him for intervention. This is not about a sprained sacroiliac, though.
This is about my baby. For three consecutive nights, he brought me dinner in bed. But the part that speaks love to me is his sitting on the floor next to me with his plate and his napkin to eat his own dinner, and assist me with getting food into my mouth. I’m so grateful for love that has grown into vulnerable and deliberately transparent.
Love isn’t needy. And I’m a very independent girl. But I’m learning to revel in connection, and I want my baby for life. Perhaps that sounds odd to you, but I trust love enough to trust whatever I encounter, with or without a partner. I still know that my life will only get better. But Sam and I grow too well together for me to wonder if I’ll outgrow him. I think I’ll keep him forever.
And I’m quite certain we’ll be in Love School for life. Always another lesson, another layer of the unconscious to bring into our consciousness. And, hey, sometimes that means learning to scream out in pain in order to heal what’s causing it … and grow beyond it.