He loves me. He loves me not. You know the truth!

We’ve all felt the torment of, “He loves me, he loves me not.” Sometimes we get so caught up in that refrain that we fail to objectively consider our own feelings.

Your love and desire aren’t contingent on his (or hers). And it’s much easier to know what’s in your heart than it is to know what’s in somebody else’s.

Even when we’re torn from one moment to the next, the answer is there. Sometimes we’re asking the wrong person. Sometimes we just don’t want to see the answer that’s spelled out in front of us.

If you’re struggling to decide — to date or not to date, to break-up or not, to get married or not — try the following:

~ Ask YOURSELF the question. Don’t get sidetracked trying to second guess what somebody else thinks or wants, and don’t take the easy way out by making somebody else responsible for choosing. Remember that it takes two, though.

~ Ask what you WANT to do — not what you should do.

~ Ask how you would counsel a friend struggling to answer the question. This allows you to stand back and be objective.

~ Imagine living with the consequences of your choices and ask how at peace you feel with each choice.

~ Ask what you would do if you weren’t afraid.

You may not like the answer at first glance, but you have the answer. Give it a chance … and you’ll realize that you don’t have to be afraid of it. Act on what you know to be the truth. You’ll reap the rewards. And next time it won’t take you so long to trust the truth.