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Entertain each other first …

We have more entertainment at our fingertips than ever, but are we any less apt to be bored in our relationships?

Most of us carry our own personal entertainment screen around with us — our favorite people, music, reading material, and games. If somebody keeps us waiting, or just bores us, we can escape. Among other things, this promotes zero tolerance for boredom. Ironically it also promotes boredom … because our needs for stimulation are not really met by the little screen. And our needs for intimacy and companionship may be getting buried altogether.

So if you’re bored in your relationship, don’t blame your partner; and don’t jump to the conclusion that you are boring. You’re not boring; you’re merely absent. To know how entertaining you are, you have to show up.

Do it before you grow more complacent or distant from each other. When there’s a moment of silence, choose to be present with your sweetheart — instead of moving on. When there’s a moment of tension, explore and understand what you’re feeling — instead of escaping to a screen, ice cream, or whatever else you keep on hand.

With the upcoming holidays, you want to be warm and inviting as a couple.… More