We are smitten by somebody who “gets” us, somebody who is tuned in to us. The biological need we have to be loved is really a need to be seen and understood, to be valued, to be responded to. To be in synch! We don’t want to ask a sweetheart to respond to an obvious need; we want him to see it and respond because he can, because he cares, because he can’t help himself.
And while this seems almost lost to our consciousness, it helps to explain why sex is the favorite substitute for love. Even if it’s short-lived, we have somebody’s full attention.
Let’s recognize sex for what it is—-a beautiful glimpse of love and a byproduct of love. But let’s not settle for sex without love. We can have it all.