When you hold a newborn baby, you sense something God-like…I dare say, even if you’re an atheist. A baby is untainted, sacred, perfect!
It’s important to hold that thought because incessant crying can get old, questions can grow monotonous, and running after a toddler can be a full-time job. That’s not really the problem, though; the problem is that you already have a full-time job. That means trying to turn the child into less than a full-time job — or, sadly, less than he or she is.
You’re likely to find yourself saying “no,” a lot. The average child hears 432 negative comments versus only 32 positive comments on any given day.
“I’ve seen a shift from physical abuse to verbal abuse; we now have parents who wouldn’t think of spanking kids but crush their little hearts with words,” says longtime parent educator Judy H. Wright aka “Auntie,” an honorary Native American title meaning wise woman who loves unconditionally and doesn’t judge.
She explains that even when kids don’t understand negative words, they understand the facial expressions and body language that accompany them. And they always believe the negative “actions.”
To get an idea of how that affects a child, imagine yourself as a 3-year-old, still very much dependent on your parents for survival.… More
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