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Authentic love is my concept of love.

It extends far beyond romantic love or even consummate love shared with a life partner. Love is everything good; it is the force for good. It is pure and resolute, with no self-serving agenda, with no degrees or deviation.

It is passion and peace. It is responsibility and freedom, strength and tenderness, rock solid and transparent. It is defenseless and invincible! It is neither pride nor shame. It is fearless, unifying, compassionate, and healing.

It is mine, yours, nobody’s, and everybody’s. It can’t be seen, or touched, or quantified; but it is everywhere. It is everything. It is the only thing that matters. … More

Dear Friends,

I may make living a life of love seem easier than it is. A life of love, after all, is the “fairytale” we yearn for. And if it were easy, everybody would be doing it, right?

The only thing that stands in our way is fear, because fear is the only thing that CAN displace love (there is no fear in love). But letting go of fear is the work of a lifetime.

Still, in those moments when we have no fear, life is as glorious–and as easy–as it gets.

Here’s to growing our moments!

Love and hugs,
Jan… More

If you’re looking for somebody else to love you more than you do, you will be disappointed. Even if you find somebody, the satisfaction won’t last. No matter how much somebody else loves you, if you don’t, you won’t feel truly lovable.

Learn to love yourself, and you will no longer seek love from somebody else.

You WILL find it, though.… More

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Some people live as though life is a scientific coincidence or accident. I believe in science. I believe God to be a scientist. I also believe Him to be a masterful artist and a mystic, the creator and the force behind everything good. I believe God to be love.

Life without that belief is empty, at least emptier than I want my life to be. You could argue (and I have) that I believe because I want to, because I can’t bear the thought of an empty or accidental existence. But I have evidence. It is both everywhere and nowhere, tangible and intangible. Einstein said, “There are two ways to live your life — one is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is a miracle.”

This morning as I jogged, I got caught in the rain … and loved it! I raised my arms in surrender to the heavens; and rather than feeling like a prisoner, I felt like a freed bird!

The forces of nature are the forces of God. Dare to run with them. Dance with them. Sing with them. Cry with them. Be still with them. And they will make a believer of you!… More

I just explained to my husband that “friends with benefits” refers to friends who have sex. But in a study, college students needed no explanation; 60 percent of those surveyed have had this type of relationship.

Sex, the thing that traditionally distinguished a friendship from a romantic relationship, is now up for grabs.

And I’m getting e-mails from those who want to know how they can participate … not just how to find a willing friend, but how to turn sex into something they can do with a friend. One woman went so far as to tell me, after reading John Gray’s advice column, that she must not be normal.

Do we really want to engage in sex the way we watch a movie or eat takeout with friends? Let’s not mindlessly jump on the bandwagon — and even if we decide FWB falls within the normal range, let’s not make it our goal.

My first invitation to engage in FWB came from a close friend about 20 years ago, long before all the press. There was too much mutual respect for me to be offended, but I was curious. Why would we do that?

He explained that having sex with each other would take the pressure off and allow us to take our time in finding a romantic relationship and incorporating sex … smart, resourceful guy, loyal friend.… More