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Even constructive criticism can feel judgmental. And help can feel assuming and condescending.

But love feels pure. Because it is. … More

When we look honestly at ourselves and live our values, we are happy and at peace.

We relate to others. We don’t judge them. We know that the love within us is also within them. The rest is in process. … More

It can be tempting to think that we are above the lessons afforded us by a partner. But if we were, the lessons wouldn’t feel like work. There would be nothing to learn from them.

We would simply move on to another lesson, or level of learning. And we would do it without judging our partner.… More

I jog. Breathing in green and talking to the birds make it doable for me.

“Good morning with you,” I said to a Grackle who flew by to land near the pond. “I hear you,” I said, as he squeaked and whistled. And then I stopped, to wonder if I really did hear him. Was I listening … or just talking?

I joined him on the grassy slope. And as I sat there, I was present–not with the Grackle, but with me. That’s what I needed, to stop and feel the earth, to breathe with the water, surrounded by blue sky. I needed to feel like me, to get back to center where I could get a second wind.

Life isn’t a checklist. It’s a moment-by-moment experience.… More

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She loves me, she loves me not. ‘Tis the season of romance and wildflowers, and they can both be erratic. But if we made them predictable, we’d rob them of their charm and whimsy … and call them by another name.

Romance, the very thing that enraptures us — and inspires commitment — is by nature volatile! It’s no wonder we often struggle to keep a commitment and, subsequently, grow gun-shy.

From one moment to the next, love seems to fluctuate; and so it is that one resorts to pulling petals. It’s not really love that springs up and then disappears, though. It’s our level of satisfaction with our relationship.

And while satisfaction is the most significant factor in commitment, we can gauge our overall satisfaction, rather than making a rash decision in an inflated or deflated moment.

When our satisfaction is low, the grass on the other side of the proverbial fence appears to be greener than it is, according to a commitment model developed by the late Caryl Rusbult, a noted psychologist. Conversely, when our satisfaction is high, we may dismiss the alternatives as irrelevant or inferior.

Sam (my husband) came up with the idea that when partners disagree, they should imagine that they’re the only two people left on planet earth.… More