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“How come the nice guy couldn’t also make my toes curl?” asks a reader.

It’s a little like asking why the muscular one couldn’t also be rich, or why she couldn’t be smart, too.

That said, sometimes somebody makes our toes curl by eluding our grasp, or being a “bad boy.” We — men and women — want the best partner we can find. When we can’t quite snag somebody, we may assume we are approaching the best we can get, as the chemical rush kicks in!

Irrational, I know, but up close and emotionally involved, we can lose both our objectivity and our rationale.

I bet you can think of a whole string of men who are challenged by monogamy. They are biologically programmed to want variety. That does not make them a great catch or even a keeper!

Women, on the other hand, are programmed to compare their partner and relationship with the options. And some, continually wondering whether they can do better, are reluctant to settle on one. Again, that doesn’t make them a great catch.

So where does that leave the nice men — or women — who are emotionally available to us?

Often, the nice ones can be found sticking by us as friends, even as we chase carrots we THINK we want.… More

My dad would have been 90 today. It was tough to get a hug on camera. I never had to wonder if he loved me or believed in me, though. No matter how I looked or how profoundly I messed up, he seemed to know and trust the best of me. I was still his Jan-Jan. And … he is forever my dad.

Happy Birthday, Dad. You got ahead of me; I’ll catch up. You know I will. And you know how much I love you. I’m still in Love School, though, learning to do it better. Jan-Jan… More

Let’s feel the way we’ll never really give up on feeling. That means living the truth we’ve always known. We’re bigger than the human role we play; and we only glimpse the magnitude of our true self.

With that awareness, let’s think thoughts that reinforce what we know. Let’s do what demonstrates what we know. Let’s be fearless love.

Let’s NOT get distracted by what’s happening all around us. Let’s not merely react to what other people are doing.

It’s a brave new year to hold on to the reins–not with our head, but with the our deeper knowing.

Let’s choose to feel what we are destined to feel! Now.

Love and smiles,… More

As much as we long to be seen and known, we may shrink from our truth or avoid sharing it for fear of rejection. But we can always trust the truth. Naked is as good as we get. … More

We can’t ask too much of love. Love is boundless. And we can’t really ask too much of ourself … as long as we’re connected, as long as we’re feeling oneness with love.

I don’t know what that looks like for you. For me, it looks like water, a wooden dock to lie down on, a sky to gaze at, and enough quiet time to breathe it all in … and let it replace my isolation with connectedness, my finite possibilities with infinite possibilities.

As humans, we can’t do it once and for all. But we CAN continually reconcile our humanness with our divine essence. … More

If you want to be in a relationship, but you’re not, it’s because you’re clinging to something else. You can discover what it is.

And I can guide you through that discovery. … More