I see you, even when you’re not shining. I know you can. It’s who you are.… More
Self-Verification Attracts …
“The best women will always be attracted to the men with the strongest convictions,” writes one reader.
Maybe he’s on to something, assuming that the men with the strongest convictions also live by them. We’re all looking for our way, so when somebody seems to have found theirs, that somebody (male or female) can be very attractive.
I’m not talking about arrogant or narrow-minded. Those qualities don’t attract the “best” women — or men. When somebody really knows the truth, he has a quiet self-assurance, and he’s not close-minded or threatened by a difference in philosophy.
I am talking about somebody who knows what he believes independent of society or religion or political party or club, somebody who has heard his own music and isn’t afraid to dance to it.
Imagine the earth as one giant dance floor. You can look around and see people who go through the motions as though they can’t quite feel the music. You see others trying to find some good moves to mimic. And, you see others who close their eyes and move effortlessly to the beat.
People with strong convictions hear their own music … and they’re not afraid to get out there and dance.… More
Happy Thanksgiving!
On that first Thanksgiving Day in 1621, the colonists invited the Indians to join them in giving thanks for the harvest. Being thankful meant having enough to share. It still does.
A grateful man will share — and be glad he’s able — regardless of how much he has. What he shares of his time or his substance will include an attitude of sufficiency, a knowing that there is enough, and that there is more where that came from. He sees abundance because he looks through grateful eyes, not greedy ones. And he multiplies what he has by being openhanded.
Often, we measure a man (or woman) by what he has. But what he’s willing to give is a better indication of what he really has. What he’s clinging to is what has him — his attention, his grip, and his energy. The thing he clings to can’t get away, but neither can he.
A grateful man has what an ungrateful man wants but cannot seem to find — enough. A sense of worth and plenty does not come with the accumulation of things; it comes with the knowledge of who you are apart from the things — the house, the job, the bank account, and even the family and circle of friends.… More
You …
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Naked, the only way to be in love …
Strip away what can be quantified, seen or touched, and you have your authentic self. You have that for which you want to be known and loved.
Yes, you want somebody to love every little toe and sweet spot, but you also want them to love what you’re afraid to show and talk about. You want them to know that you were the last one picked for softball, that you had a speech impediment until you were 9 and that kids used to call you chubby knees. You want them to know that you’ve been dumped six times, fired once and that you’re now broke!
You want them to know the emotional struggles behind all that and still love you — not in spite of who you are, but because of who you are.
And if you weren’t so incredibly beautiful and precious stark-naked and vulnerable, that would be a tall order. My work is about finding the courage to peek beneath your gold watch or muscle or perfect-parent image or whatever security blanket you clench. As I’ve faced the fear of not being good enough that drove me to weave my own security blanket, I’ve naturally written about what it means to face yours in order to find your authentic self.… More
What do you want to do?
We realize our destiny by letting go of our security blanket. We can’t have both.… More
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