Love has no agenda …

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I hope you have found paradise this summer. I hope you have found the place where everything is okay. It is within you.

And when you find it, your external world reflects its peace and beauty. It is perfect — not because it is ideal by anybody else’s standards, but because it is ideal by yours. It is ideal by yours because you see it through knowing eyes, and because you trust that you are getting exactly what you need. And because you are open to getting what you need from what’s there, you do.

It is like being on a vacation perfectly planned by your psychotherapist, your mentor, and your personal trainer. You trust them to serve your highest good. You are able to feel the sweetness in tears; you sit with your feelings beside the water. You are able to see the growth in sore muscles; you relax into a full-body massage in the garden. You are refreshed.

Your spirit sings. Your lips invite kisses. Your heart and your mind are open. You are present to delight in what is, without worrying about what is not.

If you haven’t found your paradise this summer, you can. It’s not going anywhere!… More

We’ve all felt the torment of, “He loves me, he loves me not.” Sometimes we get so caught up in that refrain that we fail to objectively consider our own feelings.

Your love and desire aren’t contingent on his (or hers). And it’s much easier to know what’s in your heart than it is to know what’s in somebody else’s.

Even when we’re torn from one moment to the next, the answer is there. Sometimes we’re asking the wrong person. Sometimes we just don’t want to see the answer that’s spelled out in front of us.

If you’re struggling to decide — to date or not to date, to break-up or not, to get married or not — try the following:

~ Ask yourself the question. Don’t get sidetracked trying to second guess what somebody else thinks or wants, and don’t take the easy way out by making somebody else responsible for choosing. Remember that it takes two, though.

~ Ask what you want to do — not what you should do.

~ Ask how you would counsel a friend struggling to answer the question. This allows you to stand back and be objective.

~ Imagine living with the consequences of your choices and ask how at peace you feel with each choice.… More

It’s tough to do great things by setting out to do them … because almost before we get started we’re coming from ego rather than love. Besides, we have to manage small things to get the experience we need to manage bigger ones. And sometimes that leaves us shying away from doing much of anything!

But when we begin to do something, we are encouraged. Peace and joy lie in doing what we can — not what we wish we could do. And when we move away from our preconceived notion of what “great” looks like, we make way for what great really is. It’s nothing more than doing what we can with love.

We can build a castle without love … or we can sweep a dirt floor with love. But we can only be happy with love.

We forget — again and again, but never forever. And the more we practice, the longer we remember. … More

You know how you immediately connect with some people? It’s because you feel accepted enough to just be yourself … and your true self is the self that connects with another human being.

Well, you don’t have to wait for somebody else to accept you; you can accept yourself. And when you do, you carrry the freedom to just be yourself with everybody! … More

For the best relationship ever, start with a clean slate. Wipe away the black marks and start fresh, aiming, once again, for consummate love. Only this time, do it with consummate love in clear view. Know what you’re going for, and you have a better shot at it.

According to Robert J. Sternberg, a psychologist and psychometrician of Cornell University, perfect love is a high level of intimacy, passion, and commitment.

• Intimacy: Psychological knowledge shared, and connection based on that knowledge

• Passion: Erotic attraction

• Commitment: The decision that a person loves another person and the commitment to maintain that love

It’s difficult to experience a high level of any one of the three if you focus on how you’ve been wronged or short-changed; and each one works to strengthen or weaken the others (see diagram below).

Wiping the slate clean, on the other hand, allows you to immediately enjoy what you have and develop more of it.

I realize that a clean slate isn’t exactly something you can order online or have somebody else deliver; but relationships are about giving what you have. So give YOURSELF a clean slate. When you wipe yours clean, you wipe his clean, too!… More