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Jan Denise, author, speaker, relationships & self-worth consultant

Love has no agenda …

in Uncategorized

The “bad” boy’s appeal …

Why do so many women go for the “bad” boy, or the hard-to-get guy? Because they’re still trying to prove that they’re good enough, still trying to win approval … and they think, “If HE would love me, then I’d know I was okay.” … More

in Uncategorized

Love is … are you?

Are you free of worry?
Are you free of pain?
Are you free of pride and shame?
Free of doubt, and filled with faith?
Free of anger, and filled with compassion?
Are you clear and certain about who you are?
Are you meek and bold?
Are you a paradox?
Free of “shoulds,” and still responsible?
Are you both tender and strong?
Steadfast and still kind?
Are you passionate and still at peace?
Free of anxiousness, and always present?
Free of deception, and grounded in truth?
Are you quietly knowing, silently listening?
Infinitely wise, without boasting?
Pure and resolute, without judging.
Are you unifying and healing?
Are you fearless? … More

in Uncategorized

Love is the common thread …

Love is the common thread that allows us to transcend the differences. We have to want to, though!

Sometimes, without even realizing it, we’d rather be superior; and there is no superiority in love. … More

in Uncategorized

Hello–I’m Ready, what’s your name?

As long as there are single people, they will strive to meet each other and explore the prospects of pairing up. If it were easy, I wouldn’t get so much mail.

We make it harder than it has to be, though. We go to a lecture or a park or a bar to meet somebody. We look around and dismiss the options or wait for them to fall at our feet. They don’t. And we go home!

We pass up opportunities and then lament the lack thereof. We justify passing with: He’s not really my type. She would never go for me…I really need a different car. It’s too hot out here. I’ve got work to do. Who am I trying to kid?

We lack initiative because we lack faith. If you believed she would go for you, you would, with natural warmth and charm, sprint over and introduce yourself.

If this resonates, look at why she wouldn’t go for you. Then, do something about it. Be the person you might be attracted to if you were in her place. Don’t get a new car for her, but if you want a new car, get one. Don’t lose 10 pounds for him, but if you’re feeling dejected, lose the 10 pounds for you.… More

in Uncategorized

Don’t let equality neuter you!

I heard him coming as he got ahead of me to open the door. Then, his smile turned to, “Oops, I hope you’re not one of those women who prefer to get the door themselves.”

Men are confused! They instinctively notice women and want to be strong for them. And according to some studies, men automatically view women as sexual.

I could have opened the door myself, but I like that he noticed me and opened the door. And I even like the idea that maybe he saw me as sexual. It felt natural to both of us — until he stopped to think about what was politically correct.

The mere term “politically correct” is a red flag. We don’t all want to be politicians!

And we mess with equality when we imply that one gender needs a handicap. The key is to recognize that we truly are equal; and that being equal, we can be — and want to be — different.

Men and women are different. We are all different. And sometimes society’s effort to equalize us looks more like an effort to abolish the differences than honor the differences (a vital part of who we are).

We don’t all want to run to an office every morning, and we don’t all want to tend to children day and night.… More

in Uncategorized

Love is worry free …

… More

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