Love has no agenda …

I just explained to my husband that “friends with benefits” refers to friends who have sex. But in a study, college students needed no explanation; 60 percent of those surveyed have had this type of relationship.

Sex, the thing that traditionally distinguished a friendship from a romantic relationship, is now up for grabs.

And I’m getting e-mails from those who want to know how they can participate … not just how to find a willing friend, but how to turn sex into something they can do with a friend. One woman went so far as to tell me, after reading John Gray’s advice column, that she must not be normal.

Do we really want to engage in sex the way we watch a movie or eat takeout with friends? Let’s not mindlessly jump on the bandwagon — and even if we decide FWB falls within the normal range, let’s not make it our goal.

My first invitation to engage in FWB came from a close friend about 20 years ago, long before all the press. There was too much mutual respect for me to be offended, but I was curious. Why would we do that?

He explained that having sex with each other would take the pressure off and allow us to take our time in finding a romantic relationship and incorporating sex … smart, resourceful guy, loyal friend.… More

It’s not about having the right clothes to wear, or enough money to spend, or a degree to hang on the wall. Can you stand stripped of those and still love yourself? If so, then you can also see others apart from those things and love them for who they are.… More

Ever feel like you have to yell and scream to get your partner’s attention? Well, you don’t really! And try not to make your partner feel like he/she has to! Listen to the whispers; then, to avoid misunderstanding, repeat what you think you heard. Give voice to love.

That yelling and screaming is based in fear; and fear pushes love aside. … More

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You’re writing a story with your life every day. Imagine somebody turning that story into a movie. Is it a sappy romance, a comedy, an inspirational drama, or an action-packed suspense? What’s the theme? The plot? If you were to cast an actor to play the starring role, who would it be? What would you learn from watching it?

And what do you want to happen before somebody writes the screenplay?

When does it happen?… More

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