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Jan Denise, author, speaker, relationships & self-worth consultant

What makes you a believer?

What makes you a believer?


Some people live as though life is a scientific coincidence or accident. I believe in science. I believe God to be a scientist. I also believe Him to be a masterful artist and a mystic, the creator and the force behind everything good.

I believe God to be love.

Life without that belief is empty, at least emptier than I want my life to be. You could argue (and I have) that I believe because I want to, because I can’t bear the thought of an empty or accidental existence. But I have evidence. It is both everywhere and nowhere, tangible and intangible.

Einstein said, “There are two ways to live your life — one is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is a miracle.”

This morning as I jogged, I got caught in the rain … and loved it! I raised my arms in surrender to the heavens; and rather than feeling like a prisoner, I felt like a freed bird!

The forces of nature are the forces of God. Dare to run with them. Dance with them. Sing with them. Cry with them. Be still with them. And they will make a believer of you!… More

How loved do you feel?

How loved do you feel?


If you’re looking for somebody else to love you more than you do, you will be disappointed. Even if you find somebody, the satisfaction won’t last. No matter how much somebody else loves you, if you don’t, you won’t feel truly lovable.

Learn to love yourself, and you will no longer seek love from somebody else. You WILL find it, though.… More

Slow down the clock!

Slow down the clock!

We can’t stop the aging process; but we can slow it down … and appreciate the blessing of time.

A few wrinkles (OK, eventually, a lot of wrinkles) are a small price to pay for what matters on the other side of what doesn’t. Seems we have to learn for ourselves that money can’t buy love and that we can’t really love others until we’ve learned to love ourselves.

That’s big! No wonder we’re half way through our lives (if we learn fast) before we get it. The good news is that we’re now living about 78 years — 30 years longer than we did at the turn of the century. The better news is that we’re also learning how to improve the quality of that extra 30 years.

You can treat your body like the temple it is. And you don’t have to make a full time job of it; you do have to develop a healthy lifestyle and stick with it.

First, the obvious: If you smoke, stop. Smoking is the No. 1 cause of preventable death in this country. If you’re overweight, eat less. Obesity (or weight-related disease) comes in second.

And as part of a weight-loss program (there’s a two out of three chance you need one), you can exercise, vigorously.… More

FWB: Friends with Benefits, OR Blinders

FWB: Friends with Benefits, OR Blinders

I just explained to my husband that “friends with benefits” refers to friends who have sex. But in a study, college students needed no explanation; 60 percent of those surveyed have had this type of relationship.

Sex, the thing that traditionally distinguished a friendship from a romantic relationship, is now up for grabs.

And I’m getting e-mails from those who want to know how they can participate … not just how to find a willing friend, but how to turn sex into something they can do with a friend. One woman went so far as to tell me, after reading John Gray’s advice column, that she must not be normal.

Do we really want to engage in sex the way we watch a movie or eat takeout with friends? Let’s not mindlessly jump on the bandwagon — and even if we decide FWB falls within the normal range, let’s not make it our goal.

My first invitation to engage in FWB came from a close friend about 20 years ago, long before all the press. There was too much mutual respect for me to be offended, but I was curious. Why would we do that?

He explained that having sex with each other would take the pressure off and allow us to take our time in finding a romantic relationship and incorporating sex … smart, resourceful guy, loyal friend.… More

Do you resist change?

Do you resist change?

… More

Are you tuned in to what’s sacred?

Are you tuned in to what’s sacred?

When we tune in to what’s sacred, we begin to see it manifested in words and behavior. We begin to understand. We begin to accept. We begin to love well. … More

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Learning to Love Yourself

Jan's program for the quest of a lifetime.

DISCOVER:
~ What love really is
~ Who you are, apart from the facade
~ What it actually looks like to love you
~ How it feels to exercise the freedom to be youClick to Read More

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