From a reader: “She’s a good person, which is hard to find. And she’s ready, but I’m not sure she’s the one … and I don’t feel like I can afford another divorce. Do I risk everything?”

When you commit to somebody — especially for better or worse, til death do you part — there’s an inherent risk. And it can feel as though you risk everything: Self-esteem, reputation, meaningful relationships, half of what’s left of your estate and even your last chance at happiness.

What do you really risk, though? The court doesn’t generally take what was already yours when you entered the marriage.

The real problem is that sometimes we’re looking to get from a relationship what we haven’t quite been able to get our arms around. So, it may feel as though we’re risking what we don’t truly have yet.

Marriage can offer you a partner in life, a trusted companion. If you’re looking for more than that — i.e., self-esteem, reputation, meaningful relationships, money or happiness — you’re barking up the wrong tree, but you’re not alone!

Those who enter a relationship thinking it will make them happy are disappointed, every time. But if you’re emotionally healthy going in, you’re likely to enjoy a healthy relationship … and remain healthy even if the relationship ends.… More

Lesson from our move:
The task of organizing all of our clothes in the closet space allotted was a bit daunting–mostly because I didn’t see HOW I was going to manage it. I did manage it, though, quite nicely. Sam’s closet (below) was the easier one; because he got the bigger of the two closets. It was only fair–I wear size small, while he wears an extra large!

I think I got this lesson for keeps: Assuming that we can accomplish any given task born of love will pave the way to do it well with greater ease and efficiency. Next time! … More

Let’s not forget the truth when money, or pretty, or sex, or “more” lures us. … More