Love has no agenda …

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People want to be loved! And YOU can love them! If you start with you, you will love them really well. And if you don’t do anything else well, this is enough!… More

You can dismantle whatever facade you created to protect yourself from rejection and win acceptance. You started building it as a child when it seemed like a matter of survival.

You don’t need it anymore.… More

Passion — or erotic attraction — enlivens us. The singing birds drown out the alarm clock. The sun shines through the clouds. We are the sun, and the moon and the stars!

Passion seems too good to be true. And it is…well, not really; it just can’t stand alone very long.

Last week, in discussing passion’s role as one of the three parts of perfect love — the other two parts being intimacy and commitment — I promised to tell you how to feed passion with intimacy. It’s an epic task, but with equally epic rewards.

We can’t hold on to passion without intimacy, because by itself passion starts to feel empty. It doesn’t stand up in the face of life’s challenges. When illness strikes or a job loss threatens the roof over our heads, passion doesn’t seem nearly as important as it did when we were craving physical gratification.

The problem is when we add intimacy to give passion a foundation, passion eventually seems to fizzle out. Truth is — it’s tough to hold on to passion, with or without intimacy!

Passion is fueled by mystery. And intimacy means getting to know all about each other, understanding fears and dreams, seeing and hearing and smelling and tasting what makes us human.… More

The end of May, I turned 61 and shared a picture of me in a swimsuit. I got over 500 reactions–a record. I thought, “Hmmm, I should buy a new swimsuit.”

The end of June, Sam and I celebrated 13 years of marriage. And I realized that I had not bought a new swimsuit in 13 years! That says something.

It says I had nothing to prove to myself or to Sam. So far, so good … BUT maybe it says more than that. Maybe it says I was letting settled and menopause define me too much. Yikes!

I bought this new swimsuit, and then I bought another one! … More

To be the best lover you can be, or attract the best lover you can attract, start with you! You can only love somebody else as well as you love yourself!… More